УДК 004.773.3
David Maziéres, Eddie Kohler. GET ME OFF YOUR FUCKING MAILING LIST
2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
2.1. Get me off your fucking mailing list
2.2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
3. Get me off your fucking mailing list
3.1. Get me off your fucking mailing list
3.2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
3.3. Get me off your fucking mailing list
3.4. Get me off your fucking mailing list
4. Get me off your fucking mailing list
Abstract
Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list. Get me off your fucking mailing list.
1. Introduction
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2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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2.1. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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2.2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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3. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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3.1. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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3.2. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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3.3. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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3.4. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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4. Get me off your fucking mailing list
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5. Summary
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References
Приглашение к обсуждению прочитанного
Из wikipedia.org
Fuck is an obscene English-language word, which refers to the act of sexual intercourse and is also commonly used as an intensifier or to denote disdain.
Mailing list ss a collection of names and addresses used by an individual or an organization to send material to multiple recipients.
Eddie Kohler (b. 1973) is a computer scientist specializing in networking and operating systems.
The International Journal of Advanced Computer Technology is a publication which has been described as a predatory open access journal - a publication which has some of the surface attributes of a benign open access journal but is actually an exploitative and deceptive corruption of that model, operating as a disreputable vanity press with little scholarly value.
Как написать статью, которую не примут в англоязычный журнал - 24 совета
Написано по мотивам статьи
1. Пишите на ломаном английском через пень-колоду – так, чтобы никто ничего не понял. Дружно плюем на грамматику английского языка с высокой колокольни. Понапридумывали там у себя в Англии времена дурацкие, да причастия всякие. Нефиг их баловать! При этом попытайтесь изложить материалы статьи, как можно бестолковее.
2. Никогда не приводите в статье всех данных о своих результатах или алгоритмах. Иначе, найдется чудак, который обязательно захочет их проверить.
3. Никогда не объясняйте в статье предположения или ограничения, на которых построена ваша модель. А то найдутся крючкотворы, которые брякнут, что модель-то работать не будет!
4. Не забивайте себе голову мыслями, что ваши модель и данные не согласуются друг с другом. Зато, какая красивая картинка получилась!
5, Пишите аннотацию как можно короче или так, чтобы никто ничего не понял. Без этого вашу статью всё-таки могут принять в журнал. А лучше вообще вставьте пару строк, которые не имеют к вашей статье никакого отношения. Запутайте читателя сразу – во введении. Сделайте его куцым и совершенно непонятным.
6. Запутайте читателя сразу - во введении. Сделайте его куцым и совершенно непонятным.
7.Оторвитесьв резюме статьи! Напишите его так, чтобы наивный читатель буквально позеленел от злости, поняв, что он только зря потратил время на ваш опус.
8. Содержательную часть статьи лучше писать казённым, скучным языком, огромными предложениями, с кучей деепричастных оборотов. Пусть читатель уснёт крепким и здоровым сном уже на второй минуте.
9. Не думайте о каких-то там читателях! Пишите статью для себя и своей мамы. Уж мама то будет рада любой вашей галиматье – лишь бы ребенок не хулиганил! Также не стоит показывать написанную статью неспециалисту или не совсем специалисту. А то еще услышите: Что это за фигня!
10. Как можно сильнее запудрите мозги возможному читателю. Никогда подробно не объясняйте основную идею. Обязательно включите в статью материалы, которые не имеют к этой идее никакого отношения.
11. Как можно подробнее развезите математические выкладки или описания алгоритмов. Обложите читателя формулами, желательно 3-х или 4-этажными, чтобы за ними потерялся весь смысл того, о чём вы хотели рассказать.
12. Никогда не начинайте подраздел статьи с краткого плана изложения и причин его появления в статье. Иначе читатель быстро смекнёт, о чём ваша статья.
13. Желательно закончить статью как-бы на вздохе, без обобщения наиболее важных моментов статьи. Пусть подумают, что вас в это момент подстрелили…
14. Структуру статьи лучше всего запутать. Высший шик – вообще перепутать разделы статьи между собой! Или, начать во здравие, а закончить заупокой!
15. Не медлите ни минуты с отправкой статьи в журнал. Как только вы шлёпнули по последней клавише, тут же распечатывайте, и отправляйте через канцелярию. Перечитывать – лишнее. Иначе вы стопудово обнаружите ошибки. Совсем лишнее – это дать статье отлежаться, как минимум неделю, на полочке. В этом случае в вашу голову может закрасться крамольная мысль: А нафига я вообще написал эту ерунду? Или вы найдете в ней такую кучу ошибок, что никогда бы ее не отправили.
16. О тбросьте в сторону сомнения о том, что кто-то что-то уже написал по этой теме. Подумаешь, что эти результаты описаны 20 лет назад! Мысль не ржавеет! Особенно ваша. Пусть радуются вашей статье уже по факту ее появления! Оригинальничать с новизной не стоит. Можно писать и о том, что пережёвывается в журналах уже много лет. Считайте читателей идиотами, ни черта не смыслящими в вашей работе.
17. Поскольку все обязаны досконально знать о полученных вами ранее результатах, никогда подробно о них не пишите. Если и давать ссылку, то не нужно утруждать себя такими мелочами, как номера страниц. В конце концов, пусть читатель пороется в паре сотне страниц. Ему же всё равно делать нечего!
18. Описывайте полученные результаты с некоторой долей небрежности, оставляя читателю простор для воображения. Неплохо бросить фразу о том, что приведенные результаты составляют сущность вашего изобретения, и поэтому не могут быть полностью раскрыты. Читатель сразу же проникнется к вам глубоким уважением и признательностью за возможность пофантазировать.
19. Избегайте четких и кратких формулировок, когда пишите статью. Подпустите туману. Лучше всего использовать такие фразы, чтобы вас можно было понять и так, и эдак. Это же интересно! Пишите статью в своем неподражаемом стиле, чтобы никто ничего не понял. Поток мыслей должен быть при этом бессвязным. Это запоминается и вызывает дополнительные эмоции.
20. Не обращайте внимания на замечания рецензентов. Это – злые люди и ничего не понимают в вашей науке. Поэтому никогда не переделывайте свою статью! На просьбы рецензентов или редактора пересмотреть статью, лучше всего ответить презрительным молчанием!
21. Никогда не посвящайте статью какой-нибудь одной идее. Нужно вывалить на читателя целый ворох своих (или чужих) идей, методов и рассуждений. Пусть оценят ваш интеллект в полной мере!
22. Сложно писать предложениями на целую страницу, поэтому попытайтесь писать предложениями хотя бы на треть машинописной страницы.
23. Не следуйте профилю и тематике журнала. Как, впрочем, и требованиями журнала к оформлению статей. Это скучно.
24. Круче всего – это когда в статье отсутствует вообще какая-нибудь идея! Это класс! Удаётся это немногим, но всё же, постарайтесь!
Kenneth D.Mahrer. Why manuscripts fail, according to 12 experts
Since this column began, only my views, opinions, harangues, and suggestions on technical writing have been emphasized. As wonderful as they are, this month IÕve broadened the scope to include the opinions and harangues of a gaggle of experts. Recently, I emailed two questions to the Associate Editors of GEOPHYSICS:
(1) What are the most common errors, shortcomings, or pitfalls you find in your reviewing and editing?
(2) What are the most difficult or most profound errors, shortcomings, or pitfalls you find in your reviewing and editing? I received 12 replies. I think youÕll find the variations in answers very enlightening. I certainly did.
Expert 1. (1) English. Maybe more papers are being written by non-English speakers than in other fields, but I can barely read more than half of the papers I get to review.
(2) The most profound shortcomings are lack of enough information to be able to reproduce the results or algorithms. This is often not apparent during the editorial process but only shows up when I try to use what is published. I can list at least four examples in the last two years where I have tried to program an algorithm from a published paper only to find that critical details were missing or contradictory. Somehow, we should have a criteria like could a working algorithm be generated from the information in this paper?
Expert 2. (1) Incorrect English and incoherent organization are common problems; this is not necessarily limited to those who are not native English speakers. The language and sometimes the style require additional work - in addition to passing on the merits of the science - by editors and referees; if the scientific content deserves it, I consider that a part of the reviewing process. For worthwhile contributions from scientists whose native language is not English, it is not always easy to find somebody with language proficiency who can help polish the manuscript. I believe it ... inexcusable when something deficient comes from a native English speaker at a professional level.
(2) No answer.
Expert 3. (1) Grammar.
(2) Grammar.
Expert 4. (1) The world is mostly too complicated to model directly, so we used simplified models based upon a lot of assumptions. Most authors do not explain the assumptions that they've made, justify them, discuss the limitations they impose on the model, or discuss the consequences, if theyÕre violated. The latter is especially needed to warn people about lifting a model from the literature that was developed for a particular purpose, and then using it for another purpose.
(2) People misusing data and models. The most egregious examples are people who chain together a series of models with different sets of assumptions. They're usually not consistent in the assumptions between the models and may be contradictory.
Expert 5. (1) Poor abstracts, introductions and/or summaries.
(2) Boring presentations ... they are technically correct ... but their presentation is a real burden to the reader.
Expert 6. (1) It's hard to attribute poor writing to any one cause. But I think GEOPHYSICS authors commonly write for themselves and not for the audience. I often find myself urging authors to have an English-fluent nonspecialist read their revisions. Of course, this almost never response to (1).
Expert 7. (1) Inappropriate abstracts. It took me a long time to understand what an abstract was supposed to be, and even now I donÕt write them as well as I would like. My experience is that most authors are even worse.
(2) Authors not making clear the principal point(s) - why the reader should care about this paperÑin combination with the inclusion of marginally relevant material. This is particularly important when the paper is very mathematical.
Expert 8. (1) Too much detailed math or algorithms. I tend to agree with (Frank) LevinÕs commentary. Math is often essential but put only the salient results in the body of the paper and carefully discuss their meaning. How often have you read a long section of technospeak and wondered how it relates to the paper? There is often insufficient bridging and motivating material. I think any subsection of a paper should begin with a short summary of what is to be discussed and why. Another common shortcoming is failure to concisely summarize a paperÕs most important points.
(2) Usually, I have the most trouble with disorganized or grammatically confused writing. Such stuff can be so far from acceptable that the best editing seems to be a complete rewrite.
Expert 9. (1) Papers are sent in too fast after the first draft is written. Authors should learn to avoid the temptation to send it in immediately. They should put the paper away for at least a week, come back to it later, and see if it still seems well written, logical, etc. I recommend giving the paper to a knowledgeable friend to find the obvious problems and fix them before wasting the reviewersÕ time.
(2) Is there enough good, original material in this paper to occupy a place in GEOPHYSICS; i.e., are other geophysicists going to be glad they read the paper or was the paper written to boost the authorÕs number of publications, selfimage, or boss's image of the author? Could the material in this paper be included with material from another paper to make a more substantial and worthwhile publication?
Expert 10. (1) I am most annoyed by authors assuming that everybody is familiar with their earlier work or with the background literature. In my opinion, it can be shown is an inadmissible statement; either show (perhaps in an appendix) or give a reference, page number included (e.g., what good does it do to refer to a tome like Morse and Feshbach, if the poor reader must sift through two thick volumes to find what the author meant to say?)
(2) Careless derivations, leaving too much to the readers' imagination. It is completely inadmissible to use lines like this work is proprietary, and thus I cannot disclose the details. Authors who cannot disclose in full detail should not be allowed to publish.
Expert 11. (1) Bad English; papers that are poorly organized or don't maintain a coherent thought stream.
(2) Revised papers that really don't take into account the reviewer's comments or state that something is important so they left the paper as is. Also, papers that have a lot to offer but are impossible to read [or edit] because the author is such a poor communicator.
Expert 12. (1) Vague or broad reference, especially using the word it. For example: Our method uses only the interval velocity, and it doesn't ... Writing like this means you have to get to the end of the sentence (or sometimes a few sentences later) to realize to what it doesn't refers - the authors' method or the interval velocity. I get this very frequently and in a variety of forms.
(2) Authors who don't know what their papers are about, so they do a memory-dump presenting readers with a grab bag of loosely related material. Such papers could easily be titled ÒA potpourri of ... methods' instead of a more descriptive title. Beyond this, I think the error I encounter most often is lack of clarity from lengthy sentences.
Adding my experience, Expert 13. (1) Failure to explicitly define the problem to be solved; failure to write with any element of persuasion; failure to understand the needs, interests, and reading expectations of readers; failure to discuss the benefits of the work; assuming a captive audience.
(2) Lack of understanding or adherence to the principles and guidelines of sound technical writing from micro- through macroscale; irrecoverably incorrect grammar and syntax; disjointed or disconnected structure; camouflaged organization and flow; and self-inflated value. It is very interesting to note that poor English is the most common complaint, but not the only complaint. Many failings can be traced simply to poor writing, which is not a function of the writerÕs native language. This is very important and very significant to prospective authors whose native language is not English. It is very easy for an author who is not a native English speaker to hide behind the excuse of writing in a foreign language. This does, of course, make writing manuscripts doubly difficult. But, as substantiated by the experts, unfamiliarity with English is not the only reason for failed manuscripts. Many manuscripts, from native English speakers and from nonnative English speakers, are simply poorly written.
From the Editorial Board
Based on this work, an article was written in Russian.